I was able to spend some quality time with my good friend Kelly yesterday. It was so nice to be able to go out and just enjoy the day and not worry about the girls or if I had wipes and diapers with me. I really felt naked! We started the afternoon with going to hit balls at Top Golf...now, Kelly is a golfer...I was married to one. As for me, since the girls were born I have not hit too many balls. I was apprehensive about going and even as I walked in I told Kelly "this would have been fun to do with him...a little too late for that". I did love going out on the course with him. Mark and I were at the point in our lives where the girls were a little older and we were taking more time for us. We were so excited about this! We had lots of plans. As I stood there all I could think was how much we would have enjoyed being there together, then I interrupted my thought and reminded myself that he is by far on the greatest golf course imaginable - while watching me hit balls - he is in heaven for sure!
As I approached the ball I could feel him telling me how to stand, how to relax and just to follow through. I could almost feel him behind me. But I imagined him above me. Guiding me. It felt great to hit the ball. I actually hit the ball great which was a surprise to me! I was able to relax and Kelly and I played a couple of games. I can't wait to go back and hit more balls! I can't wait to hit balls at the driving range in Lantana. I feel so close to him when I am out on the course. I have a feeling I will be out there quite a bit as the weather cools off. It feels so good to conquer yet another "unknown". When all of this happened, I did not think I would be able to look at a golf ball much less play golf. But the reality is that I am still here. And I still have a life to lead and enjoy. I feel his strength in everything I do and feeling that closeness to Mark is leading me to such a closeness to God that I can not describe. I guess you can call it Peace.
I encourage you to invest time in your spouse. Go spend some time on the course with him, if that is what he likes, or go camping, to a sporting event, hunting, fishing, whatever he likes take time to do it together every once in a while. Embrace it and make a memory that you will be able to hang on to forever.
Thank you Kelly for not letting me bail on you and for taking me to eat yummy Mexican food afterwards. It was such a nice afternoon! Yet another reminder that I am so blessed to have friends that love and support me. Thank You God for my friends.