What Not to Say...

Sometimes it can be hard to speak to someone in our situation. We can tell it's uncomfortable for you by your level of fidgeting. You sit there quietly, waiting for the best time to approach us, all the while searching for the perfect thing to encourage us with.  However, if some silence tends to linger we find that the person is prone to blurting out something random, awkward, or rude. When you find yourself in this situation, PLEASE don't feel like you need to say anything at all. Most of the time, in the midst of tragedy, the most appreciated comment is the one where the person shrugs their shoulders, wipes the tears from their eyes and says, "I don't even know what to say," or "There are no words," or something along those lines.

* When asking how we are, do just that.  But don't change your voice all up and drag out certain words and accent others.  Like this:  How are YOU?  How ARE you???  HOW ARE you?  The accents and lingering of words are annoying.  Just ask it normally.

* First off, if you give someone in this situation a book, please make sure you've read it to make sure it captures the mood and encouragement you are wanting to convey.  Don't do this:  I came across this book and immediately thought of you.  I want you to have it.  It's called Shattered Dreams.

*  "I will continue to pray for you, because it's only going to get worse.  Now is when it gets really hard."  Awesome.

* "How are you?  Are you tired?  You look tired."  Gee, thanks.

* "Are you pregnant?"  Uhhhhhh, no.  I'm not.

* "You must be doing better!  Your wrinkles aren't as pronouned as they were the last time I saw you!"

*  "Is this paperwork for your father?"  "No, it's for my husband."  ............  "Oh, you're too young to be a widow."  ...............  "Yeah, I know."  



**This page will be our work in progress.  We will update with more things not to say as they are spoken to us.  :)