Thursday, October 7, 2010

what once was...

Sometimes, not all of the time, I find myself missing my old life - the life I lived a million years ago it seems.  It will hit me at random times with random thoughts and then I feel a emptiness...a longing for another time and another place...the place I was before my life was totally derailed. 

The other morning I found myself missing taco shops.  Taco shops.  Of all the things to miss about Southern California my brain pulls out taco shops.  I don't just stop at missing taco shops - I allow myself to think about ALL the things I miss (and there is plenty).  As I continue down this slope, I'm not surprised to find myself lurking around a potential funk by focusing on how badly my life sucks.  Funks are no bueno and I'm beginning to believe that many of them are self-induced.  It all comes down to our choices.  Is it normal for my thoughts to drift back to my times in San Diego?  Yes.  Is it normal for me to be super sad about what once was and is no longer?  Yes.  Is it healthy to stay locked into that time not wanting to move past it?  No.

It's difficult, if not impossible, to move forward if your heart and thoughts are nailed to the past.  Allow yourself to grieve those times - just don't plan on staying in the past forever.  It's like my pajama theory:  Pajama days are necessary from time to time, ESPECIALLY when hit with tragedy, but if you find yourself having a pajama week then there might be a problem.

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