Saturday, January 1, 2011


Oh what a difference a year makes...seriously.  Last year I spent New Years Eve sitting in a hospital bed with Keith; he was in ICU and in pretty bad shape.  On New Years day the doctor ordered all kinds of testing so I got to anxiously await the results ~ he had a spinal tap, a CT scan of his head, probably one of his organs too (I can't remember), an echocardiogram and some other stuff.  I very vividly remember thinking, "If today indicates how my year is going to go then I'm SCREWED."

Last night I took Brooks over to my sister's and we had a nice low key evening.  He played toys while we played Scrabble and everyone had a good time.  This morning we woke up and went to a party.  I was able to spend good, quality time with friends I don't see often enough and Brooks had a FANTASTIC time playing with all of the other kids.  It was pretty close to perfect.  If today indicates how my year is going to go then I'm going to be okay; I can't tell you how nice it is to think that and actually believe it.  A year ago I had no idea if I would ever resume a "normal" life again and, sure enough, now I'm back to taking stupid pictures and doing things I would have done before Keith's accident.  I'm me again.

Happy New Year, everyone.  :)


Amy D said...

I'm sure you will have hard days, but I can't tell you how much this post made me smile. I am glad that you are you again. I can't imagine how hard it is to find a new normal after a loss like yours.

Blessings for the new year.

Jennifer said...

I can relate to the New Years thing. On New Years Eve 2008-2009 my son was hospitalized because his oxygen levels were too low. Not a huge deal... he was good enough to go home the next day... but we joked about how it couldn't be a good sign of the year to come... how right we were. He didn't have a great year with regards to being sick... he had super ear infections, then he had a seizure (on our wedding anniversary), so we got him tubes for his ears and he still got a really bad ear infection! He had bad allergies too. It was also the best year as he was getting older, learned to walk, started talking, loved his sister and loved even more to irritate her - they were going to get along really well when they grew up. On December 18, 2009, we got a call from daycare that he was found not breathing and he was currently in the ambulance. My husband and I got to the hospital in time to watch them give him CPR for 45 minutes. At almost 20 months old, my son died :( I knew it couldn't be a good sign when you spend New Years Eve in the hospital, but never in my life did I expect that.

I love this blog. Thank you two for your thoughts on grief in daily life. I definitely don't know what you're going through, but I can relate. My daughter is now 4 years old. Every now and then she'll surprise me with something that she remembers, but it hurts my heart to know that as she gets older, her memories of him will disappear and the only thing she'll remember is what she sees on video. It's good to know that I'm not alone in my thoughts. Thank you.

dminutelli said...

Hi Judy,

I spent time reading your blog this weekend. I hope that 2011 is a year filled with peaks for you and Brooks.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.